When Ambition Equals Impact
This post was originally published on December 3, 2020, on Instagram as part of Her Growth Collective.
Ambition is often conflated with the idea of being self-serving; of being selfish. It’s one of the driving beliefs underlying the cultural disdain for ambitious women. Women, our culture tells us, are supposed to be self-sacrificing and live in service of others (especially our families). This underlying cultural belief creates a moral dilemma for women and is one of the key reasons so many working mothers struggle with mom guilt.
Here’s the the problem with this logic - the selfish can be selfless if done well.
Example 1 - The Original Cup of Ambition: Dolly Parton
Dolly’s reputation is almost untouchable but it didn’t get that way overnight. She clearly had big ambitions from the start and the keen business instincts to protect the publishing rights to her songs from the very beginning. She also started her own publishing company and record label to maintain both creative and financial control of her career. As her popularity grew on The Porter Wagoner Show, and her skills and confidence along with it, there came a time where she was ready for a new challenge. She was ready to move on to bigger and better things, but there was a great deal of pressure on her to maintain her partnership with Porter Wagoner. He had, after all, given her the opportunity of a lifetime and it wasn’t right for her to outshine him. (Cue eye roll...)
Fortunately, Dolly refused to dim her light for anyone. She selfishly stuck to her ambitions and you already know how that worked out for her.
Those ambitions of hers led her to amass a small fortune. She has consistently used that wealth to give back with a special emphasis on the small Appalachian town where she grew up. Her ambition led to a reduction in the high school drop-out rate of Sevierville, TN, from 34% to 6% in the 90’s. It also led to the creation of the Imagination Library which provides free books to children from birth until they begin school. This program was originally designed to help close the literacy gap so common in low-income Appalachian families and has expanded to drop the income requirements with books being shipped globally. As of November 2020, the Imagination Library has gifted over 148 million book
All of this was made possible by Dolly’s stubborn and selfish pursuit of her own ambitions.
Example 2 - The Lawyer Mom in Today’s Humans of New York Story
This is a true story of perseverance and triumph in so many ways. I’m incredibly happy for the daughter on her recent graduation and the pursuit of her own ambitions. She has a mighty spirit and a lot of grit. This woman will do great things in her own right.
What really stood out to me about her story is the way her mother’s ambitions perfectly prepared her to deal with the challenges her daughter faced. She shares her ‘selective mutism’ diagnosis and the struggles she encountered trying to navigate a school environment that was poorly equipped to help her learn. You can feel the respect and admiration she has for her mother, her champion, pouring off the screen. She mentions that her mother was a lawyer who made sure that her daughter’s rights were respected. While we do not know much about her mother’s background, it is clear that her pursuit of a law career - a simple act that is both entirely relatable and also perceived as selfish in many pockets of society - is the very thing that helped her mother become the fierce advocate her daughter later needed.
Both Dolly and Lawyer Mom demonstrate how the selfish pursuit of their ambitions enabled them to become women of great impact. The next time you feel pressured to sacrifice a career dream, I hope that you remember these stories.
Framing your life as one that is driven by either selfish or selfless motives is overly simplistic and sets up a false dichotomy. A life well lived, that honors your own ambitions, can be the very same path that enables you to make the greatest impact on the world around you.
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This post is written in partnership with #HerGrowthCollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.